Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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