Swine flu. Run for my life!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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