C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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