I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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