Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
As shirtless as possible
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize