I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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