i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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