btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize