Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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