Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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