Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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