Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
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i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
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I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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