Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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