I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
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I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
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She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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