By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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