Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize