: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize