Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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