my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize