i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize