Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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