Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize