ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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