The best revenge is premature balding
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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