i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize