dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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