Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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