i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize