Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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