yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize