i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize