That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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