My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
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She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
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I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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