you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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