I met the friendliest cop last night
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
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i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
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My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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