Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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