I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize