In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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