I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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