The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It's never too late to be topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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