i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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