A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
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Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
What a dumb baby whore.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
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You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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