Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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