He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
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In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
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Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize