You just made me feel so damn special
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize