mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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