Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize