I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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