There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
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I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
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Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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