I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize