Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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