What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
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malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
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I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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